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This isn’t necessarily my favorite verse throughout the Bible.. I don’t think I could pick just one to be my favorite. But this is one I stumbled across today and when I read it, I knew it was the one I wanted to post. So many times, we as believers, try to separate ourselves from God.. maybe not intentionally but it happens at some point in our lives or if you’re anything like me, it happens more often than not. At times, I find myself trying to keep my personal life and my spiritual life two separate things. And generally my personal life, which includes academics, family, friends, and everything else besides God, becomes my first priority. So many times I find my spiritual life coming in second or even third in my list of priorities. This verse encourages me and reminds me that nothing, absolutely nothing can separate God’s love for his children. He will always, forever, love me unconditionally no matter what happens in my life. And at the very least, this should humble me to love him in the same way he loves me. God’s love is something so vast that I can’t understand and will never be able to understand. But one thing I do know is that he will never stop loving and that’s the most comforting feeling.

This verse kind of fits perfectly with what’s going on in my family right now. My uncle, who a few years ago received a kidney transplant, found out a few months ago he had throat cancer. He started chemo, went through several struggles and came out cancer free. A few days ago, he was diagnosed with brain cancer. An aggressive form of cancer that would soon spread to his lungs, his bones, his entire body. Right now, he’s at his home. On hospice care. Being taken care of and watched carefully, knowing that he only has a few weeks, maybe months on this earth. From what I hear (I haven’t visited him yet, cause I just got home) but he has a such a positive outlook on everything. He actually doesn’t fear death, because he knows exactly where he’s going. I wasn’t all that close to him growing up but i can say without a doubt that he is one of the kindest men I know. He shows everyone, and I mean everyone, compassion. During his time left on his earth, he’s concerned with spending all the time he can with the people he loves. He’s been apologizing and making amends with people he’s wronged in the past, he’s wanting to visit a couple places before he passes, and spend as much time as he can with his loving wife, two children, and grandchildren. He’s leaving a lot of people who love him behind but even more importantly, he’s leaving such a great legacy. I’m not sure how these next few weeks will be. My family is one of the most important things in my life and seeing how much this is already impacting everyone is pretty depressing. I came home to tears, to sad stories. When I read this verse, it just reminded me of how even something so tragic as death, can not separate us from God’s love, even if in those moments of death, his love is one of the last things we feel. In that moment, when someone takes their last breathe on this earth, we feel heartache, pain, a sense of hopelessness. but in the end, we can look up and still see God’s love, feel his arms around us, hear his spirit telling us it’ll be okay. that there’s still hope. we can feel his love. a love that has no end.

When people think of me and my life, I want them to say that I was a lover. That all I ever did was help other people and love them. I love those kind of people who are always concerned with others, who are selfless most times, and no matter what the circumstance, can always be cheerful, giving, and loving. I’m far from that type of person but I’ve noticed about myself that when I try extra hard to help people as much as I can, smile a lot, talk a lot, say sweet things that I’m happier. It gives me a sense of accomplishment. For me, there’s no better feeling than being able to give. It’s one thing I love. And wish I could do more. My goal in life is to be a lover and a giver. Unfortunately, I’m a selfish betch at times and most days am not the kind of woman I want to be. I have a lot of things to work on, a lot of improvements I need to make. My goals in life are pretty simple. I want to be the best at everything I do, everything I set my mind to. I want to be the best nurse, the best wife, the best momma. I want to set the best goals and not just achieve those goals but exceed them. I want to be the best.

Because of  this belief in Christ, I believe in hope. I believe that everything happens for a reason even if it’s hard to find that reason. I believe that no matter what happens to me, in the end everything will be okay. I believe in love not hate. I believe in peace not war. I believe that my family is the best there is. I believe that children are some of the most precious gifts on this Earth. I believe in making wishes at 11:11. I believe in the power of prayer, of miracles. I believe in real, genuine relationships (like the ones with my best friends) that will last a lifetime. I believe in falling in love, someday. I believe in the good of people even with all the bad in the world. I believe in eating ice cream when I’m depressed. I believe in the Bible, in the power of memorizing scripture. I believe in driving country roads just for the fun of it. I believe in being sarcastic and picking on the people I love the most. I believe that bottled ale8 is way better than canned. I believe helping someone is one of the best feelings in the world. I believe that being generous, selfless, and compassionate makes for a better world. I believe in community service. I believe in justice. I believe in myself. And the list goes on and on and on.

Oh, one more.. I believe my nieces and nephews are the cutest thing ever.

Other than Grey’s, I don’t watch much tv really. I enjoy glee of course and lately have been watching America’s Next Top Model. I used to be obsessed with Niptuck but not so much anymore. It was kind of vulgar and dirty (which is probably why I liked it, haha) But I just grew out of it. Every now and then I’ll watch an episode of Southpark with my friends (most times I enjoy) and recently we started watching The Walking Dead which i love. I, of course, watch my sports teams play. The Reds, the Bengals, the Wildcats and my hilltoppers. These days, I don’t have much time for tv because of being consumed by school and work. But when I do, I absolutely love it. I’m all about some entertainment.

I’m scared of being rejected. Of not being liked. I find myself closely watching every move i make, everything i say sometimes because I don’t want to be judged or thought negatively about. I can’t stand when people talk bad about me and worry too much about what people think of me. I’m scared of rejection.

I’m scared of my parents getting older. It’s something I cant stand to think about. I know that death happens for every human being, it’s a part of life, but it’s one part of my parents lives that I hate thinking about. Not because I’m afraid of where they are going.. I know without a shadow of a doubt, they are believers. I just don’t know how well I’ll deal with the fact they won’t be here, in my life, anymore. It scares me that they might not get to see me get married, spend time with my children someday, or be around to see me mature. I’m scared of my parents dying.

I’m scared of not being as successful as I want to be. I have a lot of faith in my abilities, in my future as a nurse but I’m scared that the nursing program and the classes and the procedures are going to be too much for me to understand. I’m afraid I won’t be able to successfully put in a catheter, or take someone’s blood. I’m afraid I’ll mess up really bad someday, in my career, that will somehow change things. I’m afraid of failure.

I’m afraid of lots of things. Some bigger, some smaller. I’m terrified of gigantic spiders, of falling down the steps or slipping on water embarrassing the crap outta myself, of never finding a soulmate, of losing my family members and friends tragically and suddenly, of loud noises, of a snake slithering out of the toilet and biting my ass (I’ve seriously thought about that before) and many other things. Of course these things don’t overwhelm me, they aren’t something I think about on the daily. But, they are things I’ve thought about before and are things that when thought about, scare me.

When I was younger, I used to be deathly afraid of thunderstorms. I remember this one time, when I lived at my old house on Churchill, where I was sick to my stomach and nauseous because of a thunderstorm. I think it was the loud thunder that got me the most (I’m extremely sensitive to loud noises) or maybe the intense flashes of lighetening. Whatever it was about those storms, terrified me. I remember my parents always telling me that it was just God playing a bowling game in heaven and that when it thundered, it means he got a strike. It never really helped with my fear. I just had to grow up, mature, and eventually get over it. And I think, in time, I’ll conquer these fears as well or at least be able to handle them better. When I would sit in the bathroom as a child, plugging my ear drums, holding my legs, head buried in my lap, I would constantly repeat to myself “When I am afraid, I will trust in God.” And so many times I still catch myself repeating those 9 words. And slowly but surely, it helps. Fears are real, especially in my life. But knowing who holds my future, my life, my parents lives, my career, and every little thing about this world helps ease the not so good gut scary feeling.

The high school days. I spent a lot of time with these girls in high school and loved every minute of it. Although we have all become distant, hardly ever talk anymore and live hours away from each other, each of these girls have changed me in some way, for the better. I’ll never ever forget choir, the musicals, the disney world trip, and all the memories with these exceptional ladies. They’re gonna do big things someday. And I love them.

My college friends. The best friends I could ever ask for. We’re silly, goofy, and crazy (as you can tell) but most importantly we love each other, stick up for each other, and care for each other. I know that if I ever needed anything, I could always come to one of them. So many memories have been made with this group of people that I’ll never forget. They’re my best friends. My group of people, away from home. And I love them.

My bff’s. Spring break girls. Whenever I need some serious girl time, this is who I turn to. I can always find encouragement, support, and love from these three girls not to mention the fact that we always have a BA time together. Life wouldn’t be as fun or as interesting without these girls. And I love them.

I’ve been on plenty of vacations, from the time I was a little girl, and I’ve traveled to several different states. Never have I traveled out of the United States, otherwise that would probably the the one I chose, but my senior year trip to New York was probably one of the best trips I’ve ever been on. Of course my family vacations are always a blast, trips to the beach are always my favorite, but this trip was an experience I’ll never forget. First off, going with my senior class was the part that made it the best, but the fact we went to New York made it even better. I absolutely love New York. I could never live there because of the insane amount of people but it’s one of my favorite places to visit. The city is alive, all day and all night, there’s broadway shows and shopping everywhere, it’s the perfect place to people watch, there are amazing restaurants and cool places to visit. China town, seeing the statue of liberty, watching Legally Blond and Hairspray, staying up late laughing with the roommates, cracking jokes and laughing on the ridiculous long bus rides, and spending time with my best friends made this trip the best. There are times when I miss high school but this trip is something I miss even more.

This movie is one of my favorite Will Smith movies. Granted, he’s madea lot of really awesome movies, but this one really captured me. It’s all about a man (will smith) who had a tragic car accident while he was texting in which he killed 7 people (one being his wife) Because of his guilt, he set out to save 7 people for redemption. It’s a beautiful story of compassion, giving, and loving. Although a tragic event happened at the beginning, what the man did in the movie was astounding. The medical aspect of this movie also makes it one of my favorites. Plus, Will Smith is just a BA. I have to include him in one of my favorite movies.

Growing up, Tarzan was always my favorite disney movie. I think it’s probably because the music in it by Phil Collins rocks my socks. I’m always a sucker for music, because it’s always been a passion of mine, and the music in this is phenomenal. The story line is a good one, as well. I used to watch this all the time growing up and would know every word to every song. I still occasionally listen to the soundtrack and it puts me in the best mood. Something about disney music does that to you.

This movie is probably one of my favorite love movies I’ve seen recently. Every girl has to throw in one of those favorite movies. It’s an amazing story about how love lasts a lifetime, even if you lose the person you love when you are young and don’t see them again until you all are old and wrinkly. It’s a movie with 2 love stories in one. The one I just described and the other that I want someday. The lead guy in this movie (the younger guy) depicts the kind of guy that I see myself being with someday. A sarcastic jerk who can joke around with you but deep down, is the sweetest guy. I sound super girly and all lovey dovey right now and I hate it. So that’s all on this one.

There’s plenty more other awesome movies that I love such as step brothers, the hangover, wanted, iron man, taken, the notebook, a walk to remember, inception, the pursuit of happyness, hitch, and happy gilmore. Lots more, just can’t remember. Movies are my fav.